Just when you thought the Netflix and chill epidemic had reached its nadir, Netflix decides to plunge us further into the abyss. Unveiling to the world its doomsday device, Netflix released schematics at the 2015 World Maker Faire for a button designed specifically to aid in the quest of Netflix and chilling (aka sexy times).
These schematics hold the key to mankind’s demise, instructing users on how to fashion a button, known as “The Switch,” that dims your lights, turns on Netflix, orders you food and silences your phone, all in the pursuit of sweet, sweet sex chill.
Apparently though, not any old regular Joe Schmoe can put one of these bad boys together. Not only will you need some prior knowledge of basic schematics, APIs and electronic prototyping, you’ll also have to know how to construct your own network-connected device.
Those left scratching their heads after that should just quietly admit defeat and walk away knowing you’ll still have to get off the couch to turn your lights off and use the phone or computer to order your own damn food. The rest of you, mazel tov! We may never see you again, as what need would you ever have to get up and leave your house again with a nefarious button such as this?
As for the rest of us, here’s how I recommend we survive this impending apocalypse:
- Step 1: If someone asks you to Netflix and chill, remove them from your life immediately. I don’t care how, just do it.
- Step 2: If you happen to encounter a Netflix and chill button, never look directly into its eyes. Grab a blunt instrument and get to smashing.
- Step 3: If you ever think you’re in danger of a Netflix and chill button being pushed while you’re around, fake the nastiest ailment you can think of. It’s not only a great excuse to high-tail it out of there, but it should do wonders in aiding with Step 1.
- Step 4: If all else fails and you find yourself sucked into the black hole that emerges after a Netflix and chill button is pressed, just pray the selection is “How to Get Away with Murder.” It’s engrossing enough that the chill aspect may never rear its ugly head.