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I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Adele is back. She said, “Hello, it’s me” and had millions of people across the world in tears. She made flip phones a commodity again. She is responsible for usurping the ubiquitous Netflix and chill proposition with the more emotionally ravaging Adele and sob proposition. She beat Taylor Swift’s record for one-day VEVO views with more than 27 million views for her seeped in sepia and gut-wrenching music video for new track “Hello.” That same song also topped iTunes charts in over 95 countries, broke the record for highest first day sales for a digital track in the U.S. with more than 400,000 copies sold and broke One Direction’s record for most streams of a track in one day with more than 2.3 million plays. Simply put, Adele said hey and is crushing it.


To say that Adele’s wildly anticipated return to music is nothing sort of a sheer triumph is a gross understatement; after three years, Adele has returned as a goddess, single-handedly snatching weaves and making the music industry fall to their knees, kissing her feet. Over the weekend, the world was collectively clutching their hearts and bawling their eyes out as Adele blissfully and powerfully sang about trying to make amends to a failed relationship. It was real, it was deep and it was raw – our puffy red tear ducts are proof.

Adele to our emotions.

For those of you who couldn’t escape the emotional torture disguised as the soaring, melodic power ballad “Hello” or the heartbreaking depiction of love lost and the powerful image of Adele commanding the forces of nature in a forest with her voice in the song’s music video, you might have missed out on the fact that she announced the release date for her latest album 25, the follow-up to 2011’s six-time Grammy winning blockbuster album 21, which has sold more than 11.2 million copies in the U.S. alone. On November 20, Adele will bestow the world with her heartache once again as 25 will hit shelves and keep us crying our eyes out well into the spring of 2016.

Along with the release date for 25, Adele, gracious queen of everything that she is, shared the album’s tracklist to us peasants. The song titles alone have us preparing for quite the emotional whopping. Below, I take a gander at how each of Adele’s upcoming songs from 25 will emotionally incapacitate us. Pain never felt so good.


Hi. *breaks down and sobs*

 “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”

My heart already can’t take it; is she kidding me with this???

 “I Miss You”

Dear God, what is she trying to do to me???

 “When We Were Young”

The nostalgia….I CAN’T!!!!


I literally can’t take it anymore.

“Water Under the Bridge”

Drowning in my sorrows tbh

“River Lea”

Seriously crying a motherfucking river rn

“Love in the Dark”

Keep the lights off so you don’t have to see my tear bloated face.

“Million Years Ago”

Love is such a cruel mistress.

“All I Ask”

Can you pass the Puffs?

“Sweetest Devotion”

That’s the sound of my heart literally breaking.


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